The past few days have been a bit strange in the Beardface household. I have been mildly hormonal and a bit over-emotional, which can terrify my husband at times and frustrate him at others.
My biggest weakness, though:
Jumping to conclusions.
Without going too deep into my childhood and all the wonderment that it entailed, I will tell you that I am accustomed to being wrong. All the time. If something happens, it was always my fault. After years of this kind of treatment, I really did absorb some of these thoughts into my own psyche. So much so that it has become a part of my personality. I find myself constantly apologizing for things that I either have not done or have no control of.
This fantastic trait has now weasled it's way into my marriage. When my husband and I are having a disagreement, I automatically assume I am at fault and apologize (which is usually followed by a small dissertation on why I am a moron for doing what I did). I'm blessed to have a husband that does not take this at face value. Rather he has forbidden me from putting myself down in his presence and from apologizing for inane things.
What it boils down to is this:
I had thought that growing up, I was handling everything I was dealt. I was told that for my situation, I was a very stable young lady, and I should be proud of my level head. This may be true, but my past was not without its consequences. And as much as I hate to admit it, these consequences have begun to affect my marriage.
Do you bring baggage into your relationship/marriage? How so? Do you notice its effect on you and your significant other?
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, you know.
