Bet you can't guess what I do

I've nearly had my first full week at my new job, and unfortunately I can't really say what it is that I do. Upon entering my workplace on the first day, I found out that saying nearly anything would be a breach of security for not only the facility, but for the department I work in, which could jeopardize my position. Therefore, I tell people I have a cool job that gave me lab goggles. (Which is true!)
This did get me thinking, though: what could people dream up that I really do? I feel a bit like Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents, though luckily I don't have to fake as a florist; I can say that I work for the US government. What I cannot say, though, is my position title, nor my job description, nor what type of facility I work at.
If I had heard someone say that to me a few years ago, I would have assumed they worked in some Area 51-esque place dissecting aliens (which, by the way, does sound like a highly entertaining job). For all my friends and family know, I could be torturing prisoners of war in a small cabin in the middle of Virginia. Or I could be growing genetically mutated plants like Audrey 2 that feed on human blood. Or I could be developing waves that can transmit signals several lightyears away. How would anyone know the difference.
Strangely enough, having a "secret" job gives me a bit of a cool factor. I love that I have to tell people "No, I cannot tell you what it is that I do, but I like my job so far".
I doubt I have very many readers just yet, but if you're out there, and you have a job you can't tell other people about, leave me a comment. I'd love to hear about it.